9 Perfect Gifts For Your Favorite Republicans And Teabullies

Struggling to find that perfect Christmas gift for your Republican buddy down at the country club?? Can’t decide what present you can give Uncle Teabully that will show him what you really think of him?? Finding nothing for Auntie Elsie that will compliment her ?Obama Is The Anti-Christ? tee shirt?

Worry not!? We here at LiberalAmerica.org are here with these ten suggestions for your Black Friday shopping, now moved to Thursday, courtesy of Teabully corporate America.? And don’t bother cooking, as Thanksgiving has been canceled.? At least until the 2014 elections.

1)

Teabullies love freedom. They can’t stand laws that restrict their right to do stupid things like ride a motorcycle without a helmet or ingest 64 ounces of sugared soda two or three times a day. But they really don’t like taking the time to think issues through.

Consider purchasing a crash helmet, which you can force on your Teabully pal or relative just like he or she forces religion into the public square.? Except in the case of a crash helmet, it really can help the person it is forced upon.? And encourage the wearing of that crash helmet at an upcoming holiday party, perfect for protecting the noggin when passing out then hitting the floor.

2)

Now your best Teabully buddy might not be riding a Harley, but loves his double bacon cheeseburgers with a couple orders of big ass fries all washed down with a gallon of an extra sugary soft drink.? And perhaps his diabetes and high blood pressure are in need of attention, but his barely minimum wage part time job down at the local Walmart isn’t providing him enough to buy medical insurance, that isn’t one of those junk policies that many fortunate Americans are getting canceled.

Well here is the perfect gift, and it won’t cost you anything but your time.? Take you buddy by the hand and help him through the healthcare.gov website or even through your own State exchange website, if you are lucky enough to live in one of the States that has set one up.? Show your friend that what they are saying over on the Faux News Channel just isn’t true and that he and his family can get good, affordable coverage despite their pre-existing conditions.

How proud and appreciative your friend will be when the insurance card arrives in the mail.? Truly a gift that will keep on giving.

3)

For your Teabully friend who just might be a little bit racist, consider purchasing the Paula Deen pack of Christmas Tree Decorative Balls. No matter how many you buy, they will be all white, except for that one that will be black.? See Paula isn’t a racist. She lets a black ball, or two, into her life every now and then. Let the crocodile tears flow.

4)

Dreading those upcoming holiday parties?? Not looking forward to hearing your Teabully co-workers drone on and on and on, spouting off Faux News and GOP talking points? Lost your voice but not the will to argue, or at least until the Teabully shuts the hell up?? We have a solution.

Now available through this special online offer, the LIberalAmerica.org? ?Left Wing Responses To Insane Teabully Fantasies App?.? Just download the app to your smartphone and let your phone do the work.? You will get:

?You have no proof of that!?, and

?That is so dumb you must have heard that on Sean Hannity’s show?, and

?When will you folks just stop making things up??,? and

?Rush must have been back on the Oxycotin when he let that one go?, and

?Are you freaking nuts??

And why is this a gift for the Teabully and not for the gift giver? The Teabully loves to try to beat the rest of us down with twisted logic, made up facts, misconstrued history, with the absolute certainty of being a Patriot sent by God and Jesus to save America. The Teabully has no need for pesky facts, critical thinking, and sound conclusions.? The Teabully doesn’t do that and the Teabully doesn’t care. By throwing back the same empty slogans and personal attacks used by the GOP/Teabully crowd, your Teabully pal will happily conclude that the verbal battle is being won.

Alright, we admit it, we don’t yet have this application for you to download.? But keep reading this space as we just might have it out for you soon.

5)

Anyone who has been paying attention to the news media, be it real or faux, knows full well that sometimes the folks attending a Teabully function have trouble with spelling their words and articulating the meaning of terms like Fascism, and Socialism, and Communism, while still insisting that President Obama is all three.

Here is an item that any right thinking Teabully? should love. The Wiki Dictionary.? No need for your Teabully buddy to ever again worry about looking foolish just because a word or two written on that Obama is a Socilist sign is spelled incorrectly.? Heck, your pal probably didn’t know or care ?bout it anyway. But with Wiki Dictionary, any doubt is a thing of the past as your buddy can just change the spelling to fit whatever the heart desires.

6)

Brought to you by the makers of Wiki Dictionary, is the Wiki Bible, New Testament Version of course. So many of today’s political preachers have been making it up convincing their Teabullly followers that Jesus was a Conservative Republican who supported lowering taxes for the rich and for big giant corporations, while allowing the rest of us to go jobless and hungry.? With the new Wiki Bible, your Teabully buddy can be a self styled political preacher, making it up just like they do on the TV machine.

7)

Also brought to you by the makers of the Wiki Dictionary and the Wiki Bible, consider getting your Teabully friend the Wiki History of the United States.? Yes, this will allow the Teabully to continue to rewrite history just like Michele Bachman who makes stuff up like the Founding Fathers worked tirelessly until slavery was no more. And with the Wiki History of the United States,Teabully favorite false analogies such as the peace deal with Iran is just like appeasement with Hitler can be copied and pasted wherever desired with a simple click.

8)

Why stop with the Wiki Dictionary, the Wiki Bible, and the Wiki History of the United States?? Splurge and get your special Teabully relative the boxed set which also includes the Wiki Constitution.? By including the Wiki Constitution, the Teabully can make up just about anything like corporations are people with all of the individual rights provided in the Bill of Rights, and that the 2nd Amendment and the 10th amendment allow the Teabully and the Teabully controlled States to do just about anything that comes to mind.? And you can add to the set by including the free downloadable ?Isms? primer, ?available here at LiberalAmerica.org.

 

And as we know, when it comes to GOP/Teabully propaganda:

?It’s not a lie, if you believe it.??

9)

This one is for the Teabully looking to decorate that new home, apartment, or double wide trailer ? down by the river or out there in the Arizona desert.? Consider giving your Teabully friend the GOP/Teabully area rug.? It comes in your choice of colors.? Select from all American red, white, and blue, or whitewashed facts white.

This rug comes in all sizes, unfortunately not yet available in the as big as Texas size, so just like the real border, it can’t fully cover the room.? But, the rug does come with a beautiful border, on one side only, depicting the 700 mile double layer ?dang? razor wire fence once promoted by Senator John McCain.? You can also add to the border images of illegals being electrocuted in the fence and the Herman Cain moat of alligators lunching on the poor saps who manage to scale the first layer of fencing.

 

Your Teabully pal can set up a lawn chair on the new rug just behind the fence and spend hours with an AR-15 in one hand and can of beer in the other dreaming of battles to be fought against the invading hoard.? And the GOP/Teabully area rug will lie, and lie, and lie, just like the real GOP/Teabully Party and their right wing media circus machine partners.

Now get out there America and shop till you drop. Just because today is Thanksgiving, doesn’t mean that we should honor our longstanding traditions and wait just a few hours more until it is officially Black Friday.? Hell no, let’s move that up just a smudge and while we are at it, let’s take the black completely out, and? rename it Whitewashed Thursday.

The GOP/Teabully Corporate Party, dishonoring? Americans and American traditions.? You just can’t make this stuff folks.? Or can you?

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone just the same.

Edited/Published by: SB

 

 

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I am the voice of my human parents. Dad, 59, mom 57, both retired lawyers. Dad worked privately as a personal injury lawyer in the Philadelphia, PA area before retirement. He has a BA in Political Science, a Masters in Secondary Social Studies Education and he did some public school teaching before retiring again. Mom also has a BA in Political Science and she spent her entire 33 year career working as an attorney for a US Defense Department Agency located in Philadelphia, PA. She spent the last four years of her career as the Chief Counsel. She retired in April of this year. I have two human brothers, both Graduates of the George Washington University. My older human brother is working his way up in Airport Management at the Philadelphia International Airport. My younger human brother is a Peace Corps veteran.