Dylan Farrow’s Allegations Are An Eyeopener

Image Credit: LA TImes
Image Credit: LA TImes

Dylan Farrow- the adopted daughter of Mia Farrow and? Woody Allen. She is at the center of a firestorm right now and a hot button issue concerning sexual abuse, sexual abuse victims, and being brave enough to come forward. In 1993, there were allegations from her mother, Mia Farrow, that Woody Allen sexually abused Dylan. Earlier this year, Dylan came forward, with an open letter , speaking of it again and bringing it forth to the light. Woody Allen has also since responded to these allegations and she has also?responded in turn.

The Public’s Reaction.

While it is true that none of us were there and do not know for sure what has happened between Mr. Allen and Miss Farrow, the reaction of many in the public towards Miss Farrow is absolutely appalling.

I say that because, rather than giving her an ear, she was attacked by many and cruel words have been said concerning her. “She is just saying this to get attention!” “She is only saying this to try and become famous!” “She’s lying!” “She was a child; there is no way that she could remember the abuse!” “Her mother implanted it in her head!” And so forth.

What does this have to do with anything?

A great deal, actually. I wrote an article earlier concerning Ryan Loskarn’s arrest and then suicide after his arrest. The charges were for possessing and distributing child pornography.

In his suicide note, Mr. Loskarn explained that he himself had been abused as a child sexually and that was why he had turned to child pornography- to better understand what had happened to him, and to relive it. He had never attempted to get help because he felt shame at what was done, because he felt that he was at fault for the sexual abuse he endured, and he also was afraid of how people would view him.

He was afraid of how people would act towards him and that he would be blamed.

He was right. He most likely would have been by many people.

That’s a harsh critique!

No. It isn’t.

Many people have said those very things about sexual abuse survivors, rape victims, and sexual assault victims- even if they were a child at the time it occurred. People often brush these things off with words such as, “That is an extraordinary claim,” “They are just wanting attention,” “They can’t remember that from so long ago,” “It was planted in their head.”

Dismissing these allegations at all makes it apparent to victims and survivors exactly how they are viewed by many. They are made to feel as if they are regarded as the ones who are the criminals and are lying. They are made to look at themselves with hate and then question themselves. This is what victim blaming does. And it needs to stop.

What to do?

Stop looking at victims with such suspicion. Stop immediately assuming that they are the ones at fault, that it was something they did wrong. Stop thinking that, when they come forward, it is just for attention. Any type of abuse is devastating, and completely messes up your life. Depression, anxiety, triggers, fear, and so many other emotions rule your life after this and it is a struggle to get beyond it. There is hope to get beyond it, but immediate dismissal and blaming the victim does not help; it destroys them even further.

My story.

I was raped as a child.

My rapist told me that no one would believe me and that I was to blame. That it was my fault.

Later, after everything was said and done, even his counselors blamed me.

You want to know why people like Ryan Loskarn didn’t come forward?

This is why. The guilt, shame, and blame that is placed upon us and made us to feel worthless and that we deserved it.

And it is time to stop this. Innocent people are paying for this and it is a cycle that grows and is never ending.

Edited/Published by: SB