For the last few days, a hilarious Twitter hashtag has been trending: #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview. The responses run from the hilarious to the absolutely absurd.
The crazy thing is that these phrases aren’t completely unheard of. I hired a lot of people in my career in the “real world,” and I heard some doozies. Someday, I’ll write up an article about the crazies things I ever heard in interviews. For now, enjoy these — I combed through them and found the best of the best.
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview Nobody puts Baby in cubicle
— The Hashtag Game (@TheHashtagGame) January 18, 2015
Is your drug policy strict? #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Robert Flores (@RoFloESPN) January 18, 2015
I'm live tweeting this interview.
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Rusty Shackelford (@rshackelford14) January 18, 2015
?Let’s pray over my salary? #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) January 18, 2015
When do we get guns? #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Arthur Chu (@arthur_affect) January 18, 2015
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview my parole officer sent me
— Claire J Cheeseman (@cjcheesecake) January 15, 2015
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview I'll be needing an assistant
— Americans America (@americans4amer) January 18, 2015
"What is considered sexual harassment?" #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Swole University (@Swoleuniversity) January 18, 2015
"It's like Ayn Rand said:" #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Adam Weinstein (@AdamWeinstein) January 18, 2015
Grammar isn't my strong suit.
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Bored Doe (@SarcasticMethod) January 18, 2015
Please do not google me. #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) January 18, 2015
Workers of the world unite! #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) January 18, 2015
Bilingual if you count Klingon. #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) January 18, 2015
I identify as a Furry.
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview pic.twitter.com/kyKaGPgGza
— Rick G. Rosner (@dumbassgenius) January 18, 2015
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview:
Do you block YouTube here?
— Khalid Al Ameri (@KhalidAlAmeri) January 18, 2015
Do you have a daughter #fivewordstoruinajobinterview
— Renegade Cowboy (@Rene_gadeCowboy) January 18, 2015
My last job? Ferguson protestor. #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Marc Hilliker (@MarcHilliker) January 18, 2015
"What's the wifi password here?" #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— KJWAMBP (@LARRY_4_LIFE) January 18, 2015
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview I OPEN CARRY at work
— Surviving Fascism (@DuringDarkDays) January 18, 2015
Q: 'Why did you leave your previous job?
A: I was a whistle blower
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Alice L Wadsworth (@AliceLWadsworth) January 18, 2015
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview technically weed isn't a drug
— #Changamire (@begottensun) January 18, 2015
"Quick story – see these scars?" #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview pic.twitter.com/Rozqaompyp
— TrivWorks (@TrivWorks) January 18, 2015
I can start after Rehab
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Josh Stern (@joshingstern) January 18, 2015
This is a stepping stone. #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Jacki Grayson (@NotGullible92) January 18, 2015
"What's your social media policy?" #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview pic.twitter.com/j726vThgiC
— TrivWorks (@TrivWorks) January 18, 2015
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview your views on sexual harassment?
— Claire J Cheeseman (@cjcheesecake) January 15, 2015
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview Yes I am a goth
— Sir Dick of Hearts (@SirDickOfHearts) January 15, 2015
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview
Is the lunch hour guaranteed ?
— JoaquinJoe Kaman (@JoaquinJoeKaman) January 15, 2015
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview Is the truth really necessary?
— Alex Collett (@KandAFilms2) January 15, 2015
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview I'm not a people person
— Claire J Cheeseman (@cjcheesecake) January 15, 2015
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview
How late can I be?
— Phil Fandango (@twitchingphil) January 15, 2015
Do you track internet usage ? #fivewordstoruinajobinterview
— Duke of Dystopia (@KWCook57) January 15, 2015
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview my spirit guide said 'apply'.
— Philip Drake (@phildrake1972) January 15, 2015
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview
Is persistent flatulance a problem ?
— JoaquinJoe Kaman (@JoaquinJoeKaman) January 15, 2015
That smell, is that me?
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview
— jamie (@jamierubicin) January 15, 2015
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview
Can Monday mornings be optional ?
— JoaquinJoe Kaman (@JoaquinJoeKaman) January 15, 2015
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview
You can't handle the truth
— Kenneth (@hairy_yak) January 15, 2015
"I forgot about that felony."
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview
— kim (@kimmiechem2) January 15, 2015
I'm not a morning person.
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview
— kim (@kimmiechem2) January 16, 2015
Can I work from home? #fivewordstoruinajobinterview #Short_sad_story
— Marwa Ayad (@marwaayad) January 16, 2015
In 5 years? Jail probably. #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— MustBeTheMeds (@MustBeTheMeds) January 17, 2015
Are y'all Klan friendly here? #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Markey (@MarkeyYTV) January 17, 2015
Manager? But you're a woman. #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Markey (@MarkeyYTV) January 17, 2015
What's your workplace violence policy? #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Joe Leary (@learyofyou) January 17, 2015
Is your secretary dating anyone?
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Jeff Dwoskin (@bigmacher) January 17, 2015
500 yards from a school? #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— J. Palmer (@vasego1) January 17, 2015
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
Do you call previous employers?
— Mary Mary (@ABitContrary) January 17, 2015
I once heard Steve Scalise… #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) January 17, 2015
What's the office romance policy? #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Gideon Klein (@GideonKlein) January 17, 2015
"Not to sound racist, but…" #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview #ActuallySaidToMeByAnInterviewee
— Rebecca Cohen (@GynoStar) January 17, 2015
I'm violent if under pressure
#fivewordstoruinajobinterview
Someone I interviewed actually said this.
— Lady FOHF (@LadyFOHF) January 18, 2015
Is that a casting couch? #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview pic.twitter.com/QSeG2jOnea
— Sarcastic News Live (@SNLive1) January 18, 2015
I'll answer with interpretive dance #FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— John Moore (@johnalogue) January 18, 2015
That blouse hugs you nicely.
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview
— Rick G. Rosner (@dumbassgenius) January 18, 2015
