Whether you are a supporter of Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton, if you love a good laugh, then you’re going to love this Twitter parody of Sanders.
‘Bernie Thoughts’ are funny, random musings, mostly about food, animals, and an occasional political reflection. The all caps tweets are hilarious themselves, but try to read them with Bernie’s unique Brooklyn accent; it’s simply brilliant.
Here are some of my favorites:
I AM VERY PROUD THAT THE HUMAN RACE DISCOVERED GRAVITY—WITHOUT IT THINGS WOULD BE A MESS
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) March 9, 2016
I ONCE SAW A CARTOON ABOUT A SPONGE THAT WAS VERY NICE TO EVERYONE HE MET—EVEN THE AWFUL STARFISH
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) March 6, 2016
EXPLAIN TO ME SOCKS—THEN EXPLAIN TO ME SHOES—THEN TELL ME WHY WE NEED BOTH
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) March 2, 2016
THAT YELLOW OF KRAFT MACARONI AND CHEESE—THAT'S THE YELLOW THAT SHOULD TELL US IT ISN'T FOOD
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) March 23, 2016
SOMEONE TELL MY ADVISOR I'M NOT SPEAKING TO HIM—HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO MAKE A PIZZA BAGEL IN MY PRESENCE
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) March 24, 2016
HOAGIE—LET THAT BE INSPIRATION TO YOU OTHER WORDS
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) March 19, 2016
I HAVE A THEORY THAT INSIDE THE PIT OF EVERY AVOCADO IS A SMALL UNIVERSE
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) March 20, 2016
OREOS MIGHT BE MILK'S FAVORITE COOKIE—BUT WHO'S COOKIE'S FAVORITE MILK
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) March 23, 2016
I WILL MAKE IT ILLEGAL TO BOIL HOT DOGS
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) March 16, 2016
ASK HILLARY AND I EACH TO COMPETE LIKE THEY DO ON CHOPPED AND LETS CALL IT A DAY
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) February 12, 2016
THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM IS LIKE PEPSI AND COCA COLA—THEY TASTE THE SAME—EXCEPT MEXICAN COCA COLA WHICH ACTUALLY TASTES A LITTLE BETTER
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) March 9, 2016
AFTER EVERY DEBATE CLINTON GIVES ME AN UP-TOP THEN A DOWN-LOW-TOO-SLOW
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) March 7, 2016
And saving what I think is the best for last:
AS PRESIDENT I WILL CONDUCT A FULL REVIEW OF AMERICA'S ANIMALS—ONE BY ONE THEY WILL BE PRESENTED TO ME AND ASKED TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES
— Bernie Thoughts (@berniethoughts) February 17, 2016
Yes, the animals in this country have a lot of explaining to do!
Featured images is by Phil Roeder under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic License.