Ted Cruz’s recently deceased bid to win the Republican primaries got me thinking about God. After all, the Texas senator’s campaign began with extensive prayer and alleged communication from the Invisible Judging One through his wife and has since ended spectacularly amid failed alliances with a ghoul who only believes in job security on Opposite Day and some guy who really likes spaghetti bolognese.
Apparently, God was not keen on the candidacy of Rafael Edward Cruz, despite Sen. Cruz’s many claims to the contrary. In fact, of the many Republican figures who claimed The Holy One endorsed their candidacy in the Republican primaries, all have fallen with Sodom and Gommorah-like prejudice. Every. Single. One.
Here are some notable examples of God’s alleged partisan politics.
“… this just entire organic buildup of people who basically said… we’re not comfortable with the host of people who are coming forward to say they want to be the next President of the United States… God sends messages through a lot of ways and through a lot of messengers,” said Rick Perry on The Janet Mefferd Show. His bid in the Republican primaries ended in September 2015.
“This is God’s plan for me and I am humbled to be a candidate for President of the United States,” said Scott Walker in his first appeal for campaign donations. His candidacy ended in September 2015.
“[Running for president] is a spiritual decision. You know, the only thing worse than not being elected president would be to be elected president without God’s blessing. I can’t think of a worse place in the world to be than in the Oval Office without God’s hand upon you,” said Mike Huckabee while asking a Christian television audience to pray for him while he decided whether or not to run for president. Huckabee’s campaign ended in February 2016.
“[Rick Santorum’s candidacy] is about defending God’s truth in the world… it really boils down to God’s will,” said Karen Santorum, wife of Rick Santorum, to CBN while discussing her husband’s presidential ambitions. Santorum’s campaign ended in February 2016.
“I feel fingers. But it’s mostly me,” said Ben Carson in response to a question by CBN News about whether or not God pushed him into the Republican primaries. His campaign ended in March 2016.
“… the most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life?” said John Kasich to Chuck Todd on NBC’s Meet the Press. His campaign ended on Wednesday.
Sounding the seventh trumpet atop the wreckage of the Republican Titanic is Donald Trump, a man who, if Christian Fundamentalism is any kind of baseline, is less qualified to lead God’s chosen country than the ghost of Christopher Hitchens. Trump is a swindler, an adulterer, a racist, and motivated by greed, selfishness, and vanity — the embodiment of every broken commandment and deadly sin.
If God really influences the Republican Party as much as they claim He does, that greedy, selfish, vain, snake oil-selling adulterer is God’s guy. God voted for Trump.
Featured image, “God the Father,” by Cima da Conegliano and is in the public domain.
h/t Patheos
