Trump Teaming Up With Dr. Oz? That’s It, I’m Blowing My Brains Out

If the 2016 Presidential election wasn’t already a carnival attraction, it sure as hell is now.

There are few people in the world I despise more than Donald Trump. I’m sure that sentiment isn’t exclusive; there are likely a king’s ransom of people who share it. In having said that, I would like to note that the list of people I would like to see struck by lightning on a clear afternoon is not that long, but a certain sentient medical fraud is on that list and this certain sentient medical fraud has apparently decided teaming up with Donald Trump is a good idea.

dr. oz trump medical fraud tv special
While it may appear he’s saying something medically remarkable, he might as well be reading from a Yahoo! Answers forum. Image by David Berkowitz, available under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

After spending weeks speculating about Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton’s health, and subsequently leaving himself vulnerable to the same speculation, Donald Trump has joined forces with Dr. Mehmet Oz and the two have concocted a dastardly plan to clear the air in terms of the Donald’s physical state. This match made in huckster Heaven will appear on your TV on Thursday and during that time, Dr. Oz — the medical equivalent of P.T. Barnum — will examine Mr. Donald Trump — the business equivalent of P.T. Barnum — and his health records.

Their goal is to silence the haters, to give credence to the claim that Donald Trump “unequivocally will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.” That phrase may sound familiar because it was written in a letter signed by Trump’s physician Dr. Harold Bornstein, whose typo-riddled testament to Trump’s robust constitution has been the subject of intense scrutiny.

This has prompted many, myself included, to wonder which Trump-associated “medical professional” is more unfit to practice — the dude who wrote Trump’s health letter in five minutes or the wacko whose entire medical career can be more or less equated to a 19th Century traveling medicine show?

I understand that Dr. Oz is a popular figure on television. But I also understand that Dr. Oz is to medicine what Theresa Caputo is to mediumship. He’s a fraud. A huckster. Dare I say, a quack?

Dr. Oz has used his medical credentials to give himself an opportunity to spread bullshit like it’s holy water to millions of people who don’t think to check him or just believe whole-heartedly he’s telling the truth. He takes advantage of people like Trump does and like the Republican nominee, is completely unapologetic about it.

Here’s a sampling of Dr. Oz’s greatest scams.

  1. In September 2011, Dr. Oz scared every mom everywhere during a segment on his show about arsenic levels in apple juice. His testing methods were sketchy, at best, prompting Consumer Reports to conduct their own investigation. Guess what? That sentient medical fraud overstated his claims. There is no evidence of a public health risk from arsenic in apple juice.
  2. Dr. Oz has promoted the “Real Age” Internet quiz. This 21st century version of the “Guess Your Age?” machine commonly found on carnival boardwalks requires users to input private health and medical information, all for the barrel of yuks bound to manifest when it guesses wrong. Oh, and the site uses your information for pharmaceutical marketing.
  3. Dr. Mehmet Oz — who is for some reason a licensed cardiothoracic surgeon — examined “reparative therapy” on his show. We all know “reparative therapy” to be a human rights abuse perpetrated by religious conservatives to force LGBT people to “pray the gay away,” but Dr. Oz isn’t so sure. Even though he acknowledged the medical consensus, that “reparative therapy” is as medically sound as punching someone in the dick to cure a brain tumor, he has expressed his doubts in the medical consensus on his blog and on his show.
  4. Dr. Mehmet Oz — who for some reason teaches at Columbia University — brought onto his show one Theresa Caputo, the “Long Island Medium,” to help viewers overcome anxiety by talking to the dead. He told his audience that medicine and doctors “don’t have all the answers,” before force-feeding his audience spiritualist crap like both he and Caputo were possessed by the Fox Sisters.
  5. Dr. Mehmet Oz — who proves there is no God by heading the Cardiovascular Institute and Complementary Medicine Program at New York-Presbyterian Hospital — was an instrumental figure in the great green coffee bean extract scandal. He bought Lindsey Duncan on his show and manipulated his viewers into investing in green coffee bean extract, which has no value. At all. In any capacity. This scandal, along with Dr. Oz’s endorsements of other “miracle cures” like red palm oil and raspberry ketone, have resulted in Dr. Oz being brought before Congress and chastised for being a farce, and a dangerous one. After all, half of this sentient medical fraud’s recommendations have no scientific basis.

Dr. Oz is, in no uncertain terms, a snake oil salesman. Donald Trump is, in no uncertain terms, a snake oil salesman. Honestly, this pairing makes perfect sense, but given the implications of this election — and, frankly, how little faith I have in a significant portion of this country seeing through bullshit — this pairing could not be any worse.

The Donald Trump Carnival of Lunacy has added a medical fraud to its list of attractions. This election has officially become a joke.

h/t Raw Story

UPDATE (9/14/16, 3:27 pm CST): A previous version of this story referred to Donald Trump’s physician as Dr. Harold Bernstein, which is incorrect. His name is Dr. Harold Bornstein and this story has been updated to reflect that.

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