You know that you’ve descended into uncharted territory when George W. Bush sounds like the voice of reason. Flush with the sudden realization that he is no longer the worst President since WWII, he took to the airwaves earlier this week to deliver a blistering attack on President Donald Trump’s administration.
We might have misunderestimated him after all.
It’s not that Liberals don’t lament the Bush years.
The illegal war in Iraq, the financial meltdown, the cabinet filled with egregious figures such as Dick Cheney, ‘Scooter’ Libby, and the execrable John Ashcroft. Then there were the endless tax breaks for the rich, the leaking of Valerie Plame’s identity.
And who among us could forget Abu Ghraib?
Bush’s tenure in office was an unmitigated disaster interspaced with moments of communal cringing, criminal negligence and the edifying spectacle of news anchors reporting that the Vice President of the United States of America had just shot a lawyer in the face.
And yet, in comparison with what we’ve been lumbered with today the Bush years seem almost quaint.
As the administration farts out policy points with less self-restraint than a narcoleptic hunting hound after a roast dinner, we are left dreaming of simpler times.
We watch in horror as the President opens his face sphincter and allows words to fall out like regurgitated alphabetti spaghetti. Sitting in silence, we listen to speeches that sound like the diatribe from a malfunctioning Speak & Spell recently unearthed from a landfill in New Jersey.
We do these things.
And find ourselves longing for the Bush days.
George W Tube
To be fair he’s been out of the limelight.
We’ve seen him at the occasional state event. He’s been spotted selling cookies at the odd Church fête. Oh, and there was that weird moment when he revealed that he’d taken up painting and everyone was confused.
Because they weren’t shit.
Still, for the most part, he’s been silent.
The GOP prefers it that way. With a base that is only slightly less volatile than a stick of dynamite re-entering the earth’s atmosphere, it’s best if past leaders — supported to a fault during office and canonized afterward — keep shtum (a Yiddish word for staying quiet or hiding secrets).
Lest they say something that hurts somebody’s feelings.
Something like this:
“I consider the media to be indispensable to democracy. That we need the media to hold people like me to account.”
In a week in which the President took time away from Golf to blast the media by labeling them the “enemy of the people,” Bush’s comments on NBC’s “Today” program were thinly veiled at best.
Rookie mistake really.
Twitter exploded.
Liar Liar Rants On Fire
The admonishment ranged from the ‘I’m typing with caps lock on and have not yet mastered the hashtag’ crazy…
# WHAT HAPPEN 2 THE BILLIONS OF USD GEORGE W. BUSH & DIXIE MAFIA QUEEN HILLARY CLINTON TOOK FROM HAITI ; WITH HER RAPIST HUSBAND ?
— anthony russell (@anthony76730120) February 28, 2017
… to the more measured response where people managed to nail down exactly where they thought Bush had gone wrong.
https://twitter.com/NetworksManager/status/836219075193880576
Ah yes, the leader of a nation founded on religious freedom going to a non-Christian place of worship.
What a dick.
The right-wing nut job outrage continued unabated.
https://twitter.com/BasedMelGibson/status/833100903292993536
George W Bush never challenged #msm LIES – this is how he is remembered! Not to mention being a SECRET #globalist BACKING HILLARY CLINTON! pic.twitter.com/3jgz5FkVSa
— Migi (@gorgashouse) February 18, 2017
Some, unable to attack their once-beloved former president directly took to lashing out at figures peripheral to him. The right’s perennial inability to spot a fake Twitter account when confronted with one was on full display.
Dude "so-called"? I was confirmed 99-0. You lost the vote by 3 million. Insecure much? SAD! https://t.co/mYdp725xRE
— Judge Robart (@RealJudgeRobart) February 4, 2017
How George W Bush saw you fit to serve as a Judge in the highest Courts is beyond me. Because you have lost it! https://t.co/5BecjQDxyj
— Stephanie Lapinski (@americnharlygrl) February 18, 2017
Some opted for conspiracy theory laden posturing in lieu of the ability to formulate a measured response.
Elizabeth Warren and George W. Bush caught on video tape in three-way with chair #DrainTheSwamp #pizzagate
— Abulafia (@conspiracybot) February 18, 2017
Still, as is often the case, it was a liberal that cut through the chaff long enough to capture the essence of the moment.
Guys I have officially hit rock bottom….
I wish George W Bush was our president again
— rosa maria (@rosamyoung) February 18, 2017
We can only hope.
With Trump as President, the dictionary definition of rock bottom might have to be re-assessed.
Over and over again.
Featured image from YouTube video.