Allow me to play Captain Obvious for just a moment: Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions is a racist, a sexist, a pinhead, a monumental douche canoe, and the most abysmal human being to ever hold the office he currently holds solely because he was one of the first Republicans to kneel and kiss Donald Trump squarely on the ass.
But Sessions may have hit a new low Tuesday when he paid a visit to Nogales, Arizona, and held a press conference before departing. At said press conference, the diminutive old fart with big ears announced:
“For those who continue to seek improper and illegal entry into this country, be forewarned: This is a new era. The lawlessness, the abdication of duty to enforce our laws and the catch and release policy of the past are over.
“I took an oath to protect this country from all enemies. Now is the time for action, now is the time we will have results.”
Pretty much the basic bullshit boilerplate drivel you’d expect from anyone who works for Donald Trump and President Steve Bannon, but then Beauregard thought it would be a good idea to get God involved his pronouncements, saying:
“God bless all of you who do this work. And we ask God’s blessings on the success of this effort to improve the lawlessness and safety of our country.”
Where’s a good Old Testament lightning strike or earth opening up and swallowing the offending asshat when you need one? One was needed on that stage in Nogales today.
Just for shits and giggles, let’s consider what the Bible–or what Sessions would probably call the word of God–has to say on the matter of immigrants and strangers:
“When a stranger sojourns with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong. You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 19:33-34)
“You shall have the same rule for the sojourner and for the native, for I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 24:22)
“But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbor?’ Jesus replied, ‘A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion.'” (Luke 10:29-33)
“For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'” (Galatians 5:14)
Of course, Jeff Sessions, much like Donald Trump, only believes the parts of the Bible that he believes justify his own wickedness and moral degradation. Oh, for a good bolt of lightning directly from heaven itself!
Featured Image Via Fox News Screengrab