10 Gun Control Regulations That Will Bring Abortion Restrictions To A Screeching Halt

So all you conservative male legislators want to regulate every uterus, huh? Dictating what can go in and what can come out? Well, it’s time to rally American women, who by the way are the majority, behind a return of the favor – with gun control regulations.

Abortion Restrictions and Gun Control Regulations — What is the Solution?

We can come up with bunches of ideas about gun control restrictions that need to be placed on the purchase of men’s favorite penile surrogates – meaning, GUNS! Unlike real penile objects, guns don’t even have to be inserted to create damage. All someone has to do is point and shoot (or like “Dick” Cheney, don’t point and shoot anyway) to bring immediate and dire consequences; therefore gun control regulations must be strong and plentiful.

So here we go with suggested gun control guidelines that all state legislatures need to not only consider but promptly adopt into law – without any hearings for or discussion by the public. What do those idiots know about what’s good and moral anyway? Right?

Gun Control Regulations

1. Each state can only have one gun provider. This provider absolutely must have privileges at a local hospital in the very likely possibility that someone will be needing treatment for traumatic injury.

2. Every provider must have a very rigorous professional background. This means he or she must be a physician. Why else would they have hospital privileges? They would also need to be a former member of the military or law enforcement. Every possible gun-handling certification that was available to them through their profession must have been obtained and maintained within the standards of the gun control regulations. Any lapse in keeping these certifications current will mean immediate revocation of the right to sell weapons.

3.?Protesters?will be present on the sidewalks outside of each state’s gun shop. These people can be from any walk of life, with no particular qualifications except zealotry. They have the absolute right to impede progress to the door of the shop, including yelling and screaming in the faces of customers, in order to offer religiously-based alternatives to ownership of guns, and to pray for the souls of all who enter there.

4. The gun store must be a free-standing unit with adequate examining rooms where potential buyers can fill out a thorough, comprehensive personal questionnaire. Gun control regulations will require answering questions on any detail of their lives that the seller wants to know so as to more adequately evaluate what-the-hell got the person to the place of really, truly wanting a gun.? They’ll have to prove whether he or she is of sound enough mind, and whether he has the moral fiber to make this decision.

5. Each potential customer must be shown graphic, gruesome photos or movies of the worst gun damage ever done to human beings. This can only be done by the qualified shop owner. Examples of the types of images include heads blown off, chests with gaping holes, slain children, that kind of thing.

6. The customer must give, in detail, a reason for wanting to purchase a gun and one that is compelling enough to make the shop owner grant permission.

7. Gun control regulations will require that the customer must go through a complete physical examination, including measurement of his actual penile appendage, where applicable, to ensure that, if he is approved for purchase of a gun, said gun will fit the proper specifications to compensate for the dimensions of the actual penile appendage currently owned.

8. At this point in the process, the applicant will leave the shop for a 72-hour waiting period in which he or she can ponder on the immense moral shortcomings of his or her life. They should think about what has brought him or her to the shameful circumstance of seeking to buy a gun–or on the sinful behavior that requires him or her to need extreme protection. It should include deep consideration of whether he or she has been such a general dick as to not really deserve a gun.

9. If the customer has a spouse or significant other, gun control regulations will requires that he or she must bring that person back to the shop with him or her after the 72 hour waiting period. That person must sign permission for the purchase of a gun. Both must acknowledge that, in case they dissolve the relationship, the gun will be the subject of a shared custody arrangement, no matter which of them has used it for whatever purpose, including murder and robbery. If only one of them survived the incident, then it becomes a moot point.

10. Steps 1 through 9 will then be repeated for the purchase of ammunition.

Do you feel totally exposed, emasculated, and frustrated? Good. Now you better understand, and can now be a partner in helping women to choose the right decision should they have to decide whether or not to have an abortion. But just to make sure, you’ll have to go through all the same steps every time, and maybe for good measure a few more. After all, gun control regulations – like the right to get an abortion – needs to come up for debate every single year.

Edited and published by WP.

 

I'm a lifelong liberal, a social/political activist, a writer and blogger. I've been through many incarnations, including 20 years as a psychotherapist and 10 years as an astrologer. However, writing and social justice have always been my passions. That's the way I was raised: much thanks, Dad! I look forward to many more transformations as life goes on. For more, please join me on Facebook. or Twitter @thepolitcali_1