The Definitive Guide: A Breakdown Of Republican Crazy And The Whys

All Republicans are alike. But each Republican is crazy in their own way.

Scumbag Steve -- Republican
Scumbag Steve — Republican

Democrats protect the poor and the environment. They believe humans are heating the earth and that it will increase the number and severity of the hurricanes we will eventually get. These same Democrats don’t enjoy spending money on the military and they don’t fear change. Though Democrats favor change in a progressive way, they intuitively knew that every single iteration of law crafted by human will need tweaking and evolution, because in general, being a science-based party, most Democrats crave the understanding that comes from highly evolved learning, the kind that comes from the study of science. Democrats recognize that in every law of man there are flaws but the same ideology in Democrats that allowed them to understand they had been mistaken about some facet of a law and needed to evolve on it.

Republicans are greedy and selfish and all their beliefs and behaviors stem from that. They like to think that they’re clever, being against science and regulation and taxes and for Bible worship but those are all practices of moral reprobates, people who are “low effort” thinkers, though they get themselves all worked up into a lather like Michael Savage or Glenn Beck or Ted or Sarah, or whoever is peddling their latest snake oil. These are the same Republicans are the people arguing that their businesses are being molested by laws and regulations of America, when they are stopped from pumping toxins out the back of the factory into waterways that are upstream for somebody else’s kid. Any civilization that asks for shared benefits understands it will cost.

Republicans show their greed by benefiting from something they also argue against, such as the infrastructure of America, while not wanting to pay their taxes. Republicans work much harder to rid themselves of taxes than they do to remove the benefits of those payments: the roads, utilities, schools, the CDC, NASA and NIH, and all the other things taxes pay for. The Republicans argue for pollution to be tolerated while Democrats argue on the side of sanity, toward protecting the environment and not being a dumb ass when it comes to climate change.

Yet, the Republicans like Mitt Romney, who we know for a fact had not paid any taxes for the 10 years prior to his run for the presidency, a fact admitted by Jon Huntsman Sr., the Utah kingmaker father of 2012 Republican candidate Jon Huntsman.

Republicans latch on to theories such as those peddled by Ayn Rand regarding eccentric architects persecuted by an imaginary caricature of Liberals or about infantile Industrialists who pout irrationally. Conservatives like these ideas, because they don’t clash with their Shock Therapy economics that gives the green-light to greed and shallow thinking, encouraging abuse and exploitation of unfairness.


John Maynard Keynes and Milton Friedman
John Maynard Keynes and Milton Friedman














In case you don’t read that sort of book, I can clarify that there are two schools of economic thought when it comes to the “dismal science”–economics.

There is the School of Keynesians, who think British Economist John Maynard Keynes got it right. Keynesians believe government has job to do. That belief in government as a force of positive change has made Keynes popular with progressives and led to programs such as Social Security, the FDA, the CDC and NASA. Progressives believe good is achieved when people work together.

John Maynard Keynes
John Maynard Keynes,
The New Deal

There is another school in the dismal science of economics, the School of Milton Friedman–the “Chicago Boys”, who believed in the “free market” above all else, who wanted to eliminate all taxes and most government services. Ronald Reagan learned voodoo economics from Friedman, learned his distrust of government regulations from Friedman. The “Chicago Boys” traveled around the world (as the eager reader learns from Naomi Klein’s monumental book “The Shock Doctrine”) and enabled vile behavior around the world from Pinochet in Chile, to Argentina’s Disappeared people who were pushed out of airplanes over the Atlantic Ocean. Whenever you want to be selfish, to perform some evil action, Friedman’s scholarship was handy for justifying yourself.

Milton Friedman
Milton Friedman

Republicans are Friedmanites because it makes it easy for them to do what they want, morality be damned. It discourages deep thinking, being a Republican. Or is it that shallow people become Republicans. No way to know if Republicans are shallow people or if being a Republican makes people stupid










Edited/Published by: SB

Author of the bestselling novel "The Butcher of Leningrad" (a thriller). Novelist, Software Architect, Painter Native of Nebraska, Resident of Indiana, Citizen of the World   Software Architect for 16 years: Insurance, Healthcare, Wall Street Author of the bestselling novel "The Butcher of Leningrad". BA in Journalism from the University of Iowa. Minors in Russian, Computer Science Reporter and Columnist for the Daily Iowan in Iowa City, Iowa Editor for Neva News in St. Petersburg, Russia Editor and Publisher of Noggin Magazine in Iowa City, Iowa