Last week, a mystery man was found decomposing in his car parked down the street in the Pacific Palisades neighborhood in LA. The man, who has not been identified by authorities, had more than 1,200 guns and nearly two tons of ammunition inside his home, and owned 14 vehicles, including a Toyota SUV made to drive underwater. Oh, and he’s also a human-alien hybrid sent to Earth to save humanity.
At least that’s what a woman claiming to be his fiancee says. Through her lawyer, E.T.’s fiancee identified the man as Jeffrey Alan Lash. The woman, Catherine Nebron, says Lash confessed to her that he was an undercover operative for multiple unnamed government agencies, according to her defense attorney Harland Braun.
Said Braun (who it totally a real lawyer and might be insane):
“The story itself sounds totally crazy, but then how do you explain all this? There’s no evidence he was a drug dealer or he stole these weapons, or had any criminal source of income, no stolen property, all the stuff you’d look for.”
Riiiiight. Because a man with guns, money, and drugs must either be a drug dealer or an alien. An alien who is also part human. Who also works for the government. Oh, and who is here to save the world.
Lash, his fiancee, and her lawyer aren’t the only ones who believe Lash was an alien, oh no. Dawn VadBunker, who used to work for Lash’s fiancee, and her mother, Laura, have jumped onto the crazy-train, too.
Speaking to the local news station, the elder VadBunker said:
“I can’t believe this. It’s worse than a Twilight Zone movie. He was part alien and part human and was out to save the world.”
Authorities say the man was dead for about two weeks before being discovered. It is being reported that he died after a long fight against cancer, and no foul play is suspected. Nebron was with him when he died, but fled for Oregon, “believing government agencies would come for his body and the items in his house.”
Of course, all of this could just be a giant coverup for what really happened to him, and Nebron just leaked some classified information to the public. Or Lash was delusional and Nebron insane. I’d put my money on the latter.
