By now, you’ve probably heard about the recent change to the Latter-Day Saints handbook (you know them as Mormons) ruling that LGBT folks are considered apostates of the church, and their kids are not allowed into the church unless they renounce their family at 18.
There has been a huge outcry from Mormons and non-Mormons alike, and a lot of discussion about the nature of faith and church membership, and of the repercussions of leaving or staying in the church.
I met a couple of ex-Mormons several years ago, and have remained friends. They are dear to me, and have been completely honest about their journeys from the LDS church. So when this story broke, I contacted them for advice and info.
Mormons now are facing a huge challenge and a crisis of faith. In the past, they have been able to be silent allies, or to mentally avoid the issue altogether. Now that is no longer an option. Modern Mormons must choose between their faith and belief in LGBT rights.
My ex-Mormon friend explains:
“In the past, having a same-sex relationship was treated more or less like any other sexual sin i.e. premarital sex, adultery, rape. The new policy categorizes same-sex marriage as a sin that is grounds for MANDATORY discipline/excommunication, where those other sexual sins are still only categorized as situations where discipline/excommunication MAY be needed.”
You read that right: being gay is a worse sin than rape, according to this new announcement. That’s a problem.
The other huge issue is the kids of a same-sex couple. My friend says that although the same-sex announcement shocked her, she was disgusted that the church turned its back on the children.
She mentions that a core Mormon document states that “We believe that man will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgressions.” Basically, you are responsible for your own sins, not others’. By condemning the children of same-sex couples, the church is going against that basic tenet of the faith, leaving many confused about which ideal takes precedence.
There is no longer room for cognitive dissonance in a Mormon’s faith when it comes to LGBT human rights:
“Mormons believe that the Prophet is the mouth piece for God, and therefore what he says is like scripture. They believe in continuing revelation. They believe the Prophet is currently receiving revelation and guidance for the problems/issues that people face today. Mormons would also say they believe in personal revelation and direct communication with God. This is an instance where I think those two ideas are in direct conflict with each other.
“If you disagree with the new policies, does that mean that God gave you a wrong answer on how to conduct your life? Or if you believe that God gave you a specific answer about this, does that mean that the Prophet is wrong or being mislead? Either way, it puts the individual into a faith crisis.”
Mormons also believe that the LDS church is the only true church, so they are left with the quandary of “LDS or nothing”: for someone who believes in the Book or Mormon, it is not an option to join another church as a compromise.
So where does that leave Mormons who believe in equality? My friend says that initially many of her Mormon friends thought the announcement was a joke and waited for clarification. Now that it is clear that no one is laughing, Mormons have either become silent on the issue, or have started preaching obedience. The latter obviously see their allegiance to their faith as stranger than to equality, but the former may be reconsidering.
There have been mass resignations of people whose belief in equality outranks their belief in the church. It is a difficult decision, and one that is not taken lightly.
If you or someone you know is considering resigning from the LDS church, here is a resource to get you started.
