Alec Ndiwane considers himself a prophet, which is typically a good indicator that he is not. Alec Ndiwane challenged a bunch of lions, which is typically a good indicator that he is dumb. Alec Ndiwane believed that God would protect him, which is typically a good indicator he is delusional.
Alec Ndiwane was at South Africa’s Kruger National Park with other parishioners from the Pretoria, South Africa-based Zion Christian Church when he is alleged to have gone into a trance and began speaking in tongues. You know, normal evangelical fanfare. Following his infusion of the Holy Spirit, he leaped from the vehicle taking the church group on their safari and raced toward a pride of lions, challenging the big cats to a fight in the name of the Lord because I guess that’s what batshit evangelical Christians do while on safari in South Africa.
The lions, who were in the process of munching on an impala, were not impressed with Ndiwane’s attempt at supernatural fisticuffs and answered “come at me, bro.”
When Ndiwane’s ego finally abandoned him and he realized God had better things to do keep a random idiot from becoming lion chow, he screeched to a halt and tried to run away. But, as every elementary school teacher everywhere points out, lions are fast and lions are ferocious, so before Ndiwane could even really get moving back to the safari vehicle, one of the lions, rightfully pissed that some lunatic interrupted her meal, snapped her paws on him and shredded his ass.
Things could have been a lot worse for Ndiwane. The reason why he likely didn’t become a second course was because park rangers intervened, firing their guns in the air and scaring the lions away. At this point, the “prophet” was rushed to the hospital, undergoing emergency surgery to save what was left of his shredded buttocks.
Ndiwane spoke of his experience:
“I do not know what came over me. I thought the Lord wanted to use me to show his power over animals. Is it not we were given dominion over all creatures of the earth.”
What came over Ndiwane? Delusions of grandeur, most likely. Alternatively, God showed an African church group that he has a messed up sense of humor.
Featured image by Robur.q, available under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license.
[h/t Raw Story]
