Press Secretary Sean Spicer, the creator of the “alternative fact,” has had a Twitter feud with the delicious frozen treat Dippin’ Dots that dates back almost seven years. It all began with Spicer taking a shot across the Dippin’ Dots’ bow in April of 2010, going after their slogan “The Ice Cream of the Future.”
Dippin dots is NOT the ice cream of the future
— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) April 8, 2010
A strong, bold take from Mr. Spicer. Apparently he was content with the current state of ice cream in America. The threat of this space-age frozen nonsense was infringing upon the current establishment he so dearly loved.
A History Of Malice
During this time, Spicer was working for the PR firm he cofounded, Endeavor Global Strategies, and also was a grown adult man. A quick side note, does Endeavor Global Strategies not sound like an offshoot of Will Ferrell and John C. Riley’s “Prestige Worldwide” company from the movie Step Brothers? You tell me that company name and it would take me at least a thousand guesses to even get in the ballpark of what type of work they do. Anyway, moving on…
After Spicer had joined the Republican National Committee in 2011, he fired off this tweet:
I think I have said this before but Dippin Dots are notthe ice cream of the future
— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) September 22, 2011
Are we all in agreement that there is a 99.9 percent chance this was a drunk tweet? The blatant typo, the inability to remember his prior feud with a futuristic frozen dairy company… I mean it was sent at 4 o’clock in the afternoon, but you’re not going to convince me he wrote this sober.
The Psychology Of Sean Spicer
We fast forward to September of 2015. Spicer, who at this point was the RNC’s chief strategist, most likely realized that over a year had past, meaning we were now in the future. In his terrified and defenseless state, he posted yet another attack tweet:
If Dippin Dots was truly the ice cream of the future they would not have run out of vanilla cc @Nationals
— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) September 7, 2015
One can probably assume he was at a baseball game, since he tagged the Washington Nationals, an MLB team. But, it’s rather curious that he is so upset by Dippin’ Dots running out of their vanilla flavor. Was he disappointed that he wasn’t able to partake in their delicious vanilla dots? Does he secretly like Dippin’ Dots? Has he spent all this time strategically nagging Dippin’ Dots, like a fifth grade boy, just so they would like him more?
I’m honestly not sure what his overall Twitter campaign strategy against Dippin’ Dots has been about. If I had to make a guess, I would say that somewhere back in 2010 he must have walked in on his wife in bed with a sexy, young container of cookies ‘n cream, effectively destroying their marriage. But that’s only a guess.
All we know for sure is that the current top spokesman of the Trump administration has had a seven year-long feud with a futuristic ice cream company for seemingly no reason. At least Dippin’ Dots was nice enough to reach out and try to repair this damaged bridge.
— Dippin' Dots (@DippinDots) January 23, 2017
Featured image credit: Screengrab from Dippin’ Dots Twitter