Imagine with me an all too common scenario faced by American citizens every day. You’re driving down the street, listening to some crap on terrestrial radio and minding your own business. You just picked up some sweet, sticky bud from Rasta Jimmy, your best friend from high school who is still a little obsessed with Bob Marley. All is well and good. You’re anxious to get home, smoke a bowl, open some Doritos, watch Archer on Netflix, and maybe have some psychedelic fun with your other half. It will be the perfect evening.
Suddenly, your see reds and blues flashing in your rear-view. Shit! It’s the law! You’re mind starts to race a mile a minute. “What did I do? Where is my smoke? Is there an odor? Where the damn hell did that cop come from?” Tap. Tap. Tap. Officer Hank stands outside your window and motions for you to roll it down. While handing over your licence and registration, the paranoid part of your brain starts stroking out in fear of heavy fines and drug possession charges.
Unfortunately, most of us will find ourselves easily manipulated by the badge in almost every situation like this one. Between the paranoia of being in possession and the authority of law enforcement, everyday people helplessly submitting to the police is an all too common occurrence. But, it doesn’t have to be. Here are 4 things you can do to avoid those pesky drug possession charges, keep Officer Hank’s over-policing at bay, and get home to your comfortable home, satisfying chips, hilarious program, and enticing significant other.
1. KEEP YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT!
One of the biggest problems people face when dealing with the police is they talk too much. Police officers listen to everything you say and incessant babbling and over-explanation can leave you vulnerable to presenting an inconsistency in your story, which is all a cop needs to have “reasonable suspicion.” This is all a cop needs to tear through your car and find your stash that you thought was cleverly hidden underneath the Matterhorn of Mountain Dew cans in the backseat.
If a cop stops you and just asks a bunch of questions, you are not obligated to stick around. In fact, your Fifth Amendment right to silence may be what ultimately decides whether or not you’re in your couch groove or in a cell facing drug possession charges.
2. DO NOT CONSENT TO A SEARCH!
Without a warrant — or “probable cause” — the law cannot reach their grubby fingers into your vehicle or onto your person. Cops do not want you to know this, since it can abruptly end any chance they have to make an arrest.
Steve Silverman, executive director of Flex Your Rights, a 501 (c)(3) non-profit that aims to educate the public on how the Bill of Rights can be used during encounters with law enforcement, says “the most powerful trick police use to make marijuana arrests on the street is to ask citizens to empty their pockets.” Seriously, don’t do it.
As an American citizen, you are protected by the Fourth Amendment from “unreasonable searches and seizures,” which means that so long as the cop has no warrant or probable cause to search you or your vehicle, said search is unlawful. If the cop claims to have a warrant (which is unlikely since you’ve been opportunistically pulled over), then ask to see it. If the cop refuses (which is likely since you have been opportunistically pulled over), then explicitly say you do not consent to a search.
Also, do what you can to record the stop. The cop cannot keep you from doing so.
3. ASK THE COP IF YOU ARE BEING DETAINED!
Politely ask the officer if you are being detained. If no, then nicely wish the officer good day, then buckle up, turn the car on, and calmly leave the scene. If you are being detained, then refer back to #1 and call a lawyer.
4. ABOVE ALL, DON’T BE A DICK ABOUT IT!
Please understand that not all cops are assholes who abuse their power. A lot of them are, but not all. Be polite and, when necessary, vocally clear and concise dealing with the cops. Even if the cop is violating your constitutional rights, aggression, open frustration, and defiance will not help you. Your best bet is to remain calm and collected, even if the cop is cutting open your backseats because he thinks you’re transporting illicit substances for El Chapo. Keep your hands visible, don’t make sudden movements, don’t interfere with what the law is doing, and do not give false statements. Don’t give the police any reason to abuse you or add more charges.
Police officers do not have the authority to do as they please, even though we have been conditioned to be completely subservient to a man with a badge and doughnut glaze on his collar. There is a very specific process that must be adhered to for a stop (and if necessary, an arrest) to be lawful. Only by knowing your rights as an American can you keep police from overreaching into your personal life when it is not appropriate.
Don’t do what a cop says just because they say it. Make sure the request is legitimate first.
