So this is a thing now, apparently. Someone has taken the (very) old joke that women nag too much and annoy their husbands, and turned it into a Christmas card. How adorable! The image shows a family with the mother and two daughters with duct tape over their mouths and tied up with Christmas lights. The man holds a sign saying, “Peace on earth,” and the young son is giving a confident thumbs up to the camera.
I get it: In order for the man and boy to have “peace on earth,” they need to restrain and gag the woman and girls in the family. What a funny way to tell women and girls to STFU. Nothing says “holiday cheer” like binding and gagging three-fifths of your family!
Wait a minute, though, aren’t I taking this thing too seriously? It’s a joke, for crying out loud! Just a funny picture meant to amuse friends and family in a Christmas card.
Would you think it was funny if I printed a Christmas card of me throwing acid into my daughters’ faces? Would you be laughing if I put a turban on their heads and a nametag that says “Dubya” on my chest, and showed myself waterboarding them?
You’re not laughing? Why not? Here’s an idea: violence isn’t funny. And showing people bound and gagged in a photo represents violence. The only vestige of humor in these images is the completely outdated cliche of the nagging wife, and that a man needs her to shut up in order to relax.
Nevermind that one in four women will be the victims of severe intimate partner violence (IPV) in their lifetimes. Nevermind that three women are murdered by an intimate partner every single day in the States. Nevermind that we have something called “divorce,” wherein a man may extricate himself from the bonds of marriage legally should he wish, and does not need to tie up his wife in order to have some “peace on earth.”
Apparently the women and girls don’t deserve peace. This is classic “male gaze“– the joke is based on the viewer empathizing when the males without considering what the women are going through. This type of joke loses its humor really quickly when you think about it from the woman’s perspective, which is why the acid-in-the-face or the waterboarding photos wouldn’t be funny: you would immediately feel sorry for the poor kids. Because this image is tapping into an idiotic and incorrect cultural joke, many viewers may not see the abuse right away.
I am not suggesting that these families pictured are abusive families, or that the photographer had intentions of promoting abuse. They really were trying to make people laugh.
One person’s “peace” should not come at the cost of another’s freedom. One person’s humor should not come at the expense of another’s trauma. The holidays should be a time for everyone to feel safe, loved, and cared for.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7.
Update: I saw a Christmas card photo involving people being bound and gagged that is *actually* funny. Here it is:
Featured image is a screencap from Facebook.
