Oregon Militia Member Ryan Bundy Demands ‘Special’ Religious Underwear And Guns In Jail

It takes a special kind of stupid to do what the Oregon militia did to the Malheur National Wildlife refuge. It takes an insidious and ignorant form of self-satisfied privilege to expect that, not only will you get away with it, but that you are acting within the law by doing so.

And now that ignorance and stupidity has reached its natural conclusion: a lawsuit whining that being in jail is, like, a total bummer.

Most of the lawsuit is a lot of blah-blah-blah about due process, but then Ryan Bundy pipes up with some real gems in his statement.

“My right to freedom of speech is being hampered by monitoring and recording. My right to freedom of assembly is being violated; I am not allowed to see my brother and move about. Yesterday, I attempted to discuss these issues with the U.S. Marshals, and they said that these were simply the jail rules.”

Justin Sullivan/Getty
Justin Sullivan/Getty

Total bummer, man. How dare they apply jail rules to a jail? Don’t they know that when a bunch of disenfranchised white people to destroy a federal wildlife reserve after they occupied it with military-grade weapons for weeks, those people should not have their “rights” restricted in any way?

What’s with all the walls? And why do these wardens want to watch them all the time? It’s almost like they had broken the law, or something.

Now you may be thinking that there is already too much stupid in one place, but it gets worse. Bundy’s whiny rant continues:

“My Second Amendment rights are being violated. I never waived that right.”

Yes. He is asking to have guns. In jail. Because Constitution. Also, there is apparently an invisible clause in the Second Amendment that only the Bundys can see, in which prisoners get guns unless they are asked politely and choose not to have guns. These folks may go down as the most ignorant people in history.

Lastly, he complains that he is not allowed to wear “religious garments” under his prison garb. Sorry, dude: there is no such thing as a “right to pick your underwear in prison.”

The fact that these people think they will be successful with this ridiculous lawsuit makes me lose faith in humanity.

In case you forgot, here is the moment when this “brave patriot” surrendered to folks with bigger guns than he had.