Ever Wondered Why Classical Art Has Such Tiny Penises? (VIDEO)

Art historian Ellen Oredsson answers a question you may have long been wondering about, but were afraid to ask about penis size.

Classical sculptures of men often idealize the male physique with one exception… The penis. At least, that is how it may seem from our 21st Century, “bigger is better” perspective.

Image via Wikimedia Commons Via A CC By SA-3.0 Unported License

But it turns out that a small cock was considered a thing of beauty way back when. Not only that, but a big one was a sign of being – well, a big dick.

Alternet explains:

“Ellen Oredsson, an art historian and head curator at Bangkok’s Rock Around Asia gallery, explains the role Grecian beauty standards played in the small penises attached to some of the world’s most famous classical sculptures:

‘Today, big penises are seen as valuable and manly, but back then, most evidence points to the fact that small penises were considered better than big ones. One of the reasons historians, such as Kenneth Dover in his landmark book Greek Homosexuality, have suggested that small penises were more culturally valued is that large penises were associated with very specific characteristics: foolishness, lust and ugliness… Meanwhile, the ideal Greek man was rational, intellectual and authoritative. He may still have had a lot of sex, but this was unrelated to his penis size, and his small penis allowed him to remain coolly logical….The ancient Romans might have been more positive towards large penises, but their sculptures continue the trend of small penises. Later, in Renaissance art, sculptors were very specifically influenced by ancient Greek art and their small penis size.'”

Let’s hope Donald Trump (R-N.Y.) never studies up on his art history. If he finds out that tiny is YUUUGE, he’ll surely start obsessively bragging about the size of his hands instead of obsessively defending them.

The video below explains more. But let’s not share it with Trump!

Featured image via Wikimedia Commons Via A CC By SA-4.0 License.

Ellen Brodsky is a long time blogger for NewsHounds.us and a contributor to Crooks and Liars. She has also worked as a researcher for Brave New Films' landmark documentary, "Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism" and "Iraq for Sale."