According to former FBI Director James Comey, Donald Trump allegedly pressured him to investigate as to whether or not the Russians really had a “pee-pee tape”; which allegedly consists of Trump being “entertained” by prostitutes and their full bladders in a hotel room during his trip to Russia many years ago.
Word of the tapes possible existence first surfaced in ex-British spy Christopher Steele‘s infamous dossier, in which he alleged that the Russians had blackmail information on Trump, which included a tape of him asking Russian prostitutes to urinate on a bed (one which he believed President Barrack Obama once slept in).
The former director shares his disturbing allegation in a new book: “A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies, And Leadership.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMybqViNLcg
Here’s the excerpt from Comey’s book about the incident.
Maybe the thing I’m most looking forward to about the pee tape is the enormous pee enthusiasm from Trump supporters as soon as it emerges. We might see Fox hosts drinking highball glasses of urine in fealty. Lee Greenwood singing patriotic pee odes at rallies pic.twitter.com/cmzra61Rp4
— Spencer Ackerman (@attackerman) April 12, 2018
As you can imagine, once news of these allegations surfaced, Twitter lit Trump up like a Christmas Tree.
Look, the worst thing about the pee tape is clearly that it can't play Cannes because it's streaming.
*sigh* Fine. I'll show myself out.
— DrewMcScreamy (@DrewMcWeeny) April 12, 2018
The only thing more real than the pee tape is the magic found in a childs laughter
— Andrew Lawrence (@ndrew_lawrence) April 12, 2018
I can't wait for the moment in the meeting with Kim Jong Un where Un gets annoyed & says "Pee tape" & giggles & then the translator has to say "pee tape" & she giggles & the whole room fills with tittering Koreans because if Un does it you have to do it & that's how we all die
— Bravery is Contagious ? (@EBlumberg11) April 12, 2018
DON'T TELL MELANIA ABOUT THE PEE TAPE pic.twitter.com/RhTAQZh1fa
— Jeff Tiedrich (@jefftiedrich) April 12, 2018
national treasure 7: pee tape pic.twitter.com/alDzfOVOeB
— Talia B Lavin (@chick_in_kiev) April 12, 2018
let's be fair, who among us hasn't asked the director of the FBI to quash pee tape rumors so that the trophy wife we'd already cheated on countless times wouldn't have one additional reason to hate us
— Jeff Tiedrich (@jefftiedrich) April 12, 2018
one reason i would want the pee tape to actually surface will be to watch the evangelical leaders forgive it in great detail hopefully frame by frame explaining which parts are a mulligan
— darth™ (@darth) April 12, 2018
And the wind, whispered, “The pee tape is real”
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) April 12, 2018
My soap opera at 1600 bingo needs someone to fall into a coma
* Pee tape ✔️
* Knocking up the help ✔️
* Staving off blackmail ✔️
* Smearing Comey ✔️I'm so fucking close
— crystal (@StuffUrSorrys) April 12, 2018
I can’t help but wonder – how much pee can a pee pee tape if a pee tape can pee tape? #peepeetape
— Danielle Lindberg (@DaniLuvsZombies) April 12, 2018
me, walking back into Twitter and seeing that "Pee Tape" is trending pic.twitter.com/ZEtBJTpLg1
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) April 12, 2018
So today we have a love child, the pee tape is real, and Muller says Trump dangled pardons in front of grand jury witnesses. Y'all still loving your orange boy who was going to clean up Washington?
— Charles Evans (@banditref) April 12, 2018
The funniest thing about Trump asking Comey to investigate the pee tape for "Melania's sake" is the idea that anyone would believe he gives a shit about his wife
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) April 12, 2018
And finally.
Melania told Donald Trump “If the pee tape is real…urine a lot of trouble!”
I’ll be here all night.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) April 12, 2018
That was a piss poor joke, but … pic.twitter.com/Rp4MgQXmDa
— VoteBluest (@elynnhardi1) April 12, 2018
Well, it seems that laughter’s the best way to stay sane when it comes to dealing with the national disgrace occupying the White House. However in November when Democrats flip both houses, we may finally have the last laugh.
Until then, just let it all “soak in” Donald Trump.
Featured image via YouTube.
