We told you the story about BuzzFeed journalist Matt Stopera’s visit to the Creation Museum in Petersburg, KY. Well, he’s back, and we’re going to show you what he learned about dinosaurs. Rather, what he learned about what creationists believe about dinosaurs.
One question I get a lot is: “Tiff, you’re a Christian. Why do you bash other Christians?”
The reason I write this kind of stuff is because 1) I like to try to dispel the myths about how stupid all Christians are. Many of them are working really hard to make non-believers believe that we’re the dumbest people on the planet. It irritates me. Not all of us are as dumb as humanly possible. And 2) Because this stuff is just stupid. Christian or not. It’s as funny to me as it is to non-believers.
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Let this little guy set the tone for this article. He stands vertically in the gift shop.
The gift shop. Lots of dinosaur stuff.
Dinosaurs everywhere.
I mean it. Everywhere.
BUT….evangelical Christians — and we have no evidence that the people who made this stuff up are paleontologists — have solved The Great Dinosaur Mystery.
And they are there on hand to prove it to you because the Bible explains all about dinosaurs.
Come on now, what do we really know about dinosaurs? For one thing, the bones aren’t labeled with tags when we dig them up out of the ground, so how can we really know how old these bones are, what dinosaurs ate, etc…?
“Dinosaur fossils don’t come with tags on them telling us how old they are, where they lived, what they ate, or how they died. We have to figure that out from a few clues we find.
But because we never have all the evidence, different scientists can reach very different conclusions, depending on their starting assumptions.”
Dinosaurs were created on the sixth day with the other animals and Adam.
Dinosaurs were always hanging out with Adam and Eve in the garden.
Apparently all of the dinosaurs ate plants, as did all of the animals. And yes, even the big cats. What do you not understand about ALL animals were vegetarians?
Were dinosaurs still around after the flood?
It says so right there in the book of Job, they mentioned a huge animal. That must have been a dinosaur. Unless it was a dragon, of course.
Look, you should be getting this. Have you never heard of dragons? Come on, pay attention.
Well, with all this evidence that they existed and were playmates and companions with humans, where the heck did they go?
They died out, of course, and probably in recent times. I’m guessing Godzilla was probably the last one. So Noah went to all that trouble to get them on the ark for nothing.
But have human bones ever been found with dinosaurs? If no, why not?
There haven’t been any human bones found near dinosaur bones. YET.
And once and for all, no they did not evolve into birds. Because the sixth day.
Duh! They were born a day apart.
But the word “dinosaur” isn’t in the Bible. Why?
This is another example of evangelical Christians assuming God doesn’t speak English.
How did they fit on the ark, you may ask? Well there’s an answer for that. Most of them weren’t as big as you think they were.
“Most dinosaurs were reasonably small about the size of a sheep or a pony. Even large sauropods were much smaller when they were young (just like a crocodile is small at first when it hatches out of an egg, you can even hold it in your hand!). So the Ark had plenty of room for all the land animal kinds, including every dinosaur kind.”
Can you not see them walking in behind the giraffes?
“Most dinosaurs were reasonably small about the size of a sheep or a pony. Even large sauropods were much smaller when they were young (just like a crocodile is small at first when it hatches out of an egg, you can even hold it in your hand!). So the Ark had plenty of room for all the land animal kinds, including every dinosaur kind.”
Yes, you read that right. Dinosaurs lived on the ark with the people and the other animals.
However, there’s just one problem with all this dang science and carbon dating. There aren’t tags, remember?
As we already mentioned, they weren’t tagged. Because Noah didn’t get to WalMart to buy those handy little tags with strings that would have tied around their toes or something. The bones aren’t labeled, so how do we know what they even are, much less how old they are.
Matt mentioned that the gift shop used to carry a t-shirt showing Jesus riding a dinosaur. They sold out, but I found one for us all to buy.
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Tiffany Willis is a fifth-generation Texan and the founder and editor-in-chief of Liberal America. An unapologetic member of the Christian Left, she has spent most of her career actively working with ?the least of these? and disadvantaged and oppressed populations. She’s passionate about their struggles. To stay on top of topics she discusses,?like her?Facebook page,?follow her on Twitter, or?connect with her via LinkedIn. She also has?a?grossly neglected personal blog?and a?literary quotes blog that is a labor of love. Find her somewhere and join the discussion.
h/t BuzzFeed
