Awhile ago, I wrote a piece about the slow death of traditional organized religion in America. It, along with everything else I have done regarding the culture wars surrounding religion were written from an atheistic standpoint because, well, I am an atheist. Many readers believed that this meant that I had no love for religious people, or that I did not believe that one could be both gay and religious. But, in actuality, nothing could be further from the truth. Perhaps the biggest reason for this is that people assume that I am an atheist because I am gay and could not reconcile the faith in which I was raised with who I am. That is, in effect, untrue.
Like many LGBT people, I have suffered religious abuse due to the general idea that many Christians hold that homosexuality is a sin. I’ve even written about it here briefly, when describing my horror that the GOP in Texas wants to officially endorse the dangerous practice of ex-gay therapy. Now, it was no small feat to forgive this sort of thinking and abuse, but, again, I have, and religious abuse is not what took me to atheism. I am glad it isn’t, and I’ll tell you why.
I cannot begin to describe the anger one feels at the many indignities suffered when large, powerful groups of people decide that who and what you are is an abomination. I cannot describe how difficult that is to get past. Many people don’t get past it at all. To that end, they leave their churches, communities, and, in some instances, even families, militantly angry. That anger only grows, and they eventually lead their lives with a deep- seated hatred of all things religious. Anger and resentment can be useful, but hanging on to them for a lifetime can also be destructive. I know far too many LGBT people who are incapable of even befriending anyone who expresses any religious or spiritual belief whatsoever. Personally, I think they are doing more harm to themselves than they are to the people they have grown to hate so much, but that is just me, and I am glad I let go of the anger I used to feel at the injustices I have suffered.
I am an atheist not because I am gay or even because of how I was treated. I am an atheist because I did nearly four years worth of research into the history of organized religion. It was done from a completely academic standpoint. By the time I started it when I was seventeen, I was more or less agnostic anyway, so I was able to be as unbiased as possible in my studies. I came out of it an atheist. The realization that I no longer believed in anything supernatural or religious hit me like a ton of bricks. It was both freeing and terrifying at the same time; freeing because I could finally let go of the internal god vs. gay battle, and terrifying because it meant that I really, truly believed that everything I had been taught growing up was a complete falsehood. But, I embraced it, after a brief period of attempting to rationalize believing anything else. It was a little like seeing the Christmas presents in the back of your parents’ closet before they told you there was no Santa Claus. That isn’t to insult; it is simply the best way to describe it. I could not unlearn what I had learned.
Several years after the atheistic revelation, I got involved in volunteering at Pride events. To my astonishment, there were booths upon booths of loving people of many faiths who also support and affirm LGBT rights. This softened my ideas about the battle I had fought for so long. By the time I met these people, I was ready to embrace them across religious beliefs and across lines between two communities that many people believe hold nothing but hatred and contempt for one another. They never tried to stop me being an atheist. They simply told me why they felt it was important for LGBT people to be able to be spiritual or religious if they so chose. This is something I had previously thought impossible, but, after that, I’ve met many religious LGBT people. Do I understand it? Not really. I’m happier as an atheist than I ever was as a Christian.
However, these people, both LGBT and allies, opened new doors of understanding. If you choose, want, or need faith, it need not be at odds with who and what you are at your core. There are many resources for LGBT and allied people of faith. At the top of the list is Gaychurch.org, which lists more than 800 open and affirming denominations. Also, visit the BelieveOutLoud Facebook page to find an open and affirming social community.
In short, religion and an LGBT identity do not have to be at odds with one another. This is a myth told by right-wing bigots. Funny how their God seems to hate everyone they do, isn’t ?it? No, my friends, you can be both religious and LGBT. If an atheist can believe this, then so can you.
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