With it being Holy Week, along with the controversy generated by the passage of “religious freedom” laws in Arkansas and Indiana, Twitter has been exploding with contributions to #ThingsJesusNeverSaid. Below are a few of the very best tweets. Feel free to pay a visit to Twitter and post a few of your own. And a very Happy Easter to all.
?”Pray to me. I will make the gay go away.”?#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
“My credit card will deny me three times before it goes through.” #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
“Let History Remember Me as a White Man with Blue Eyes. Fair Skinned, Like Most from the Middle-East…” #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
“We can’t feed all these people. That would only create dependency. Get a job you lazy Bums!”?#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
“I can’t run in these sandals.”?#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
“Do not turn the other cheek. Get your guns and settle your differences like real men.”?#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
“Nailed It.”?#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
“I got 3 fish and 4 buns. Someone isn’t getting a fish sandwich.” #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
“Since this is our last supper, let’s take a selfie. This will be legendary.”?#ThingsJesusNeverSaid
And of course, none of this would be nearly as funny without this one final tweet, which may be my favorite:
