Gather round, children, and listen as I share with you a tale of how the Republican Party became extinct in the year 2016. Yes, I know they said it could never happen, but that was before the Age of the Arrogant Asshat, aka Donald Trump, which changed the equation for what could and could not happen in America.
See, kids, on Super Tuesday, as the Southern states went to the polls, the Trumpazoid Monster had already won three of the first four primaries and declared that he would not denounce the KKK and David Duke. So the nation was walking on eggshells as we all went to the polls that fateful day.
And then, out of nowhere–a place called South Dakota–a man named GOP U.S. Senator Mike Rounds told a reporter that he would still support the Troll Trump, declaring in his booming yet still whiny voice:
“I’ve met Mr. Trump once. It was a businesslike discussion and I walked away thinking he’s been doing a great job as a showman out here and he’s brought a lot of people into this thing. There was a side of him that I did not see when I visited with him personally.”
Then the big bad man from the Dakota of the South opened wide his giant mouth and inserted his foot as he did proudly tell the world:
“My choice would still be — honestly, I’m still leaning to Marco Rubio, as I suspect there are others [who] are. But nonetheless, our critical issue is fixing things in the United States, and you can’t do that if you’ve got Bernie or Hillary, because they have a differing point of view about what’s right and what’s wrong with this country.”
Would the Rounds Mound of the South Dakotalands declare his undying love for Trump and kiss the magic ring? Let’s listen to what he said:
“Even if you’re disappointed with the way he’s responding to things, even if you’re mad at him, you disagree with him, if he did it intentionally — I don’t think he did, I think he just made a mistake — even if he did, they’re still going to do a better job with him there than if you had Hillary or Bernie in his place.”
Yes, my children, this is how the GOP did enter its final death spiral. And now that it’s gone, no one misses it in the least.
The End.
Featured Image Via You Tube
