Stephen Colbert had a very special guest night on “The Late Show.” It was none other than Donald Trump, the current GOP front-runner. Not that the Donald actually made an appearance, but the cartoon version of him did, and he was in rare form.
Cartoon Trump immediately let the audience know who was in charge, announcing:
‘Hello, New York! Bow before me!’
The real reason for Cartoon Trump to show up and give so generously of his time? To make fun of Ted Cruz, of course. Cartoon Donald proclaimed:
“Yeah, I beat Ted Cruz, or as I like to call him: Dead Loose! Get it, Stephen? Because he lost and he looks like a dead person brought back to life. He’s the ‘Walking Ted’ because he’s barely running. I could go out all night, unlike Ted Cruz and his tiny Canadian penis.”
Colbert questioned Cartoon Trump about what he meant when he said he would be bringing “showbiz” to the Republican convention in July. Cartoon Trump gladly explained that democracy is a boring thing:
“You gotta zazz it up and I got glitz and glamor coming out of my razmataz hole.”
Cartoon Trump then went on to suggest the changes he will make in preparation for the GOP convention in Cleveland: First, he will gold plate the entire city, including all of the people. After that:
“Then I ride in on a chariot pulled by showgirls dressed like Lady Liberty. And unlike the real statue, these girls are tens. Then I take my throne and announce my vice president nomination, Optimus Prime and together we will transform America to be great again and roll credits.”
There’s lots more, including a secret about what really lives in Trump’s hair, so be sure and watch the segment from last night’s show:
Featured Image Via YouTube Screengrab
